People have pens and several sheets of paper for writing. Duration: 120 minutes or more if you do all 4 parts.
- Part 1: Discovering & Distilling Your Destiny (30 min to answer the questions and distill the Principles then 5 min/person to refine their distillation)
- Part 2: Choosing Your Destiny (20 min introduction plus 5 min/person)
- Part 3: Adding Mass to Your Destiny – Your Practices (50 min)
- Part 4: Implementing Your Destiny – A Project (30 min reading + the rest of your life)
Parts 2, 3 and 4 bring Part 1 out of intellectual curiosity and into authenticity.
(Spaceholder instructions are in parenthesis. The rest can be simply read out loud.)
Each person serves as the representative of a unique combination of Bright Principles (facets of consciousness) that provide you with personal and unlimited energy and information. Making life choices becomes simpler and your projects can be more clearly empowered when you find out what your Bright Principles are.
To extract your Bright Principles from the details of your life we ask you a series of specially formulated questions. In the end you will have clarity about the 3 to 5 responsible principles that you have been unconsciously bringing into the world since birth. By refining your Bright Principles you get the chance to serve them consciously. We name these Bright Principles your Destiny. With your new clarity you can choose moment-to-moment actions that allow you to be your Destiny in action right now.
- Archetypally speaking, there is a Middleworld, an Upperworld and an Underworld.
- We normally live our lives in the Middleworld.
- Your Middleworld actions, communications and relationships are flavored and textured by the Bright or Shadow Principles that you are serving when you act, communicate and relate.
- By distilling your Destiny you gain the option of consciously choosing whether an action serves responsible Upperworld Bright Principles or irresponsible Underworld Shadow Principles.
- If you do not consciously choose Bright Principles then you unconsciously choose Shadow Principles.
- Bright and Shadow Principles are both diagrammed on the Map of Possibility. But the map is general, merely a concept. The thoughtmap is necessary but insufficient. You cannot consciously align to your Bright Principles until you distill them individually out from your life.
- The Distilling Destiny Initiation is how you find your Bright principles.
- The Hidden Purpose Initiation is how you find your Shadow principles.
Part 1: DISCOVERING YOUR DESTINY (30 min)
INSTRUCTIONS / PROCECDURE:
Write out the answers to the as many of the following questions as you can, all the while keeping in mind that you are looking for common themes, principles and values. You will not have time to write complete sentences or to answer all of the questions. Just write the themes, principles and values that are revealed to you. The purpose of these questions is to help you identify what really matters to you.
Distilling Destiny Questions:
- What was your favorite story as a child? (Don’t write this answer.) Who are you in that story? (Don’t write this answer either.) What do you resonate with in this character?
- What is your favorite film? Who are you in the film? What do you love about this character? What inspires you about them? What qualities are the same between you and the character? Their attitudes? Their way of being? What decisions, conflicts, solutions are the same?
- Where are your favorite places to be? What in you is expressed at these places? What in you comes alive there? What is enlivened? Fulfilled? Amplified?
- What are your favorite things to see? To smell? To touch? What delights you about these experiences? What inspires you about them? What values do you appreciate about them?
- What are your favorite fantasies? Where do you go when you daydream? What is happening there? What attracts you to that? What happens for you there? What is your need? What is it that you want to be true? What are you longing for?
- What are the best times you ever had? What happened? Why was it so good? Why do you classify it as the best of times?
- What are your biggest successes? What motivated you to try so hard? What value did it have? What did you get?
- What awards have you received? What honors? What in you was recognized? What was your purpose?
- If you were fully rested and had a week of unscheduled time and money was not a consideration, what would you do? Who would you do it with? Why would you do this? What would you get out of it?
- What are your favorite possessions? Why are they favorites? What do they mean to you? What do they represent to you? What in you is expressed by these objects? What do they stand for? What do they touch in you?
- What are the most valuable experiences or adventures you ever had? Why do you consider them valuable? What did you enjoy? What did you learn?
- If you had 100 million Euros, no strings attached, no taxes, what would you do with it? Why? What is the value for you in doing this? What would it accomplish? What is the worth of that to you?
- What have you made with your own hands? What did you get from doing this? What motivated you to make the effort?
- What are your hobbies? What do you enjoy most about them?
- In what ways do you have substance? (Just write the first answer that comes to mind.)
- If there were a group of people who were undefended, what would you be a stand for them for?
- If your parents were to brag about you to their neighbors, what would they say?
- In what ways are you authentic?
- What do your friends really love about you? (Be honest!) What do they see in you that makes them want to be your friends?
- What qualities are you famous for? What is your reputation about? What are the qualities about you that are legendary?
- If you had 15 minutes of free worldwide TV exposure, so everyone could understand you in every language, what is the most important message that you would want to communicate to people? What core message do you want people to know?
- What traits or characteristics or values would you want your children to inherit from you?
- If you went to a costume party, who would be your favorite character to be? What do you admire and respect about this character? What does this character communicate?
- Who are your heroes in history? What do you admire and respect about them? What radiance do they have that you notice and appreciate?
- If you painted your own self portrait, what characteristics would you want people to experience when looking at the painting? What mood would you want them to have? What possibilities would you want them to gain?
- When you die, what words would you want printed in your obituary in the newspaper? What do you want them to say about your life?
- Circle the 3 to 5 main principles that have been common in your life, the central themes that really matter to you, the qualities that resonate deeply with your soul.
- Do not use your mind to analyze what you wrote. Use instead your body to sense the core Principles that have the most resonance for you in the long term.
- After you have selected 3-5 Bright Principles, copy them to the bottom of your page.
- These Bright Principles have been with you since you were born. You could even say that you were born to enliven these Principles in the world.
- Sometimes we think that what we have to do is different from what we are supposed to do, which is different from what really turns us on to do. In fact, these three things are the same thing. That becomes clear when you distill your Destiny Principles out of your life.
- When you separate yourself from what really matters to you and write it down on a paper, what you are looking at is your destiny.
[It is the Trainer’s job to check for the final completeness of the Destiny Principles. Have each person read their distilled Principles to you. Sense with all four bodies the resonance and completeness of the Principles. In the list there should be at least one heart Principle (such as love, friendship, family, togetherness, oneness, acceptance), at least one sword Principle (such as integrity, clarity, trustworthiness, justice), and at least one soul Principle (such as possibility, transformation, healing, beauty, empowerment, adventure, leadership). If a word is too general you will need to help the person get further clarity and specificity. For example, if they chose, ecology, ask them: "Ecology in relationship to what? For what purpose? To what end?” Find precision with each word until they all come together into an undeniable description of the person’s natural destiny. Have the person write the Principles again in their most clear and powerful natural order.]
Part 2: CHOOSING YOUR DESTINY
Your Destiny is optional! You have distilled your Principles, but you have not chosen your Principles.
QUESTIONS TO DISCUSS BEFORE CHOOSING YOUR DESTINY:
- How many of you experience your Destiny as an overwhelming burden?
- Specifically, what makes it a burden?
- What behaviors or excuses do you use for explaining why WHAT REALLY MATTERS TO YOU does not show up first and foremost in your life?
- (Examples of typical excuses include: I don’t know how. I can’t. I’m not good enough. I am not allowed. I am too old, too young, too stupid. People will hate me. I am a bad person. I am crippled. I am addicted.)
- How many of you experience your destiny as an incredible opportunity and good fortune?
- What stands in the way between you and your destiny?
- What is bigger, your commitment to what matters or your commitment to what has been in the way between you and what matters to you? Write out your answer.
- What would have to be different in your life in order to have what matters to you come first?
- Do you see that you are already involved in sourcing these principles in the world? They have been functioning, perhaps unconsciously, for your whole life.
- We are in no way obligated to commit to our destiny. Living our destiny consciously is completely optional. Choosing your destiny is a moment to moment choice. Only by consciously choosing to make your life about fulfilling your destiny can you truly commit to it. You have the power to choose this because you have free will.
- The formal commitment to serving a destiny which is greater than yourself is more compelling than your psychology.
- Principles are a force of nature. If you succeed in choosing your destiny your life will not be about you anymore. Think seriously about this choice.
FURTHER DISTINCTIONS ABOUT YOUR PRINCIPLES:
- Your Principles are not for you. They are not there so that you are empowered, so that you have more joy or relationship. They are for there for serving others.
- Your Principles become your calling card, the sign over your door. These Principles are what you represent, as a service for other people. People come to you when they need what your specific Principles can provide for them. You become the eyes, ears, mouth, hands, feet and heart through which these Principles can do their work in the Middleworld.
- If you decide to choose your Principles, then it is no longer your Box that has majority vote. Your Principles have majority vote. Your life is not about you anymore; it is about serving something greater than yourself. You become your Principles. The old stories about yourself are released and slowly drift to a lower level of importance. Then when you are brushing your teeth and you look in the mirror, what you see is not your old self image but instead your Principles. For example, I don’t see some guy named Clinton, I see Integrity, Clarity, Love, Possibility, Transformation, and Lightness. The same when you are walking down the street and catch your reflection in a plate glass window or a mirror.
CHOOSING YOUR DESTINY PRINCIPLES:
- Now that you know what your Destiny is, can either choose it or not choose it. Do you want to choose your Destiny? Yes or no?
- Choosing your Principles involves writing the words, “I am,” in front of your list of Principles, then standing before a group of respected individuals, and saying, out loud, “I am __________” filling in the blank with your list of Principles. The Principles should simply be read from the paper in such a way that they land firmly in the space, so they land in the entire universe. This is your declaration. The Principles should not be spoken with a rise in the voice but rather with a falling of the voice – as a statement rather than as a question. If the Principles have been well spoken, the Trainer solemnly says, “Thank you.” In some case the Trainer might want to make the invitation, “Please also tell someone else.”
- You should now memorize your Bright Principles so they stay forever on the tip of your tongue. Whenever someone asks you, “Who are you?” you can instantly say, “I am _____________” and tell them your Bright Principles.
- The Principles that you have distilled are a working draft. They will most likely evolve and reorganize themselves during years of use. Two might melt together into one, or together become a new Principle. One Principle might fall away. Then suddenly two more show up as long lost friends.
- When you have distilled your Bright Principles and your Shadow Principles, what you get is a choice in each moment as to which Principles you serve. This is a choice worth having.
Q: I don't know-how to create what matters to me.
A: If you had the know-how to create what matters to you, then you would only create what you already know-how to create. Why not simply commit to creating what matters to you and radically rely on your Principles to handle the know-how part? The universe conserves know-how. It only gives you know-how after you are already committed. The secret is to commit first. Your commitment is authentic necessity that forces the universe to give you the know-how and resources to create what matters to you.
Part 3: ADDING MASS TO YOUR DESTINY – PRACTICES (50 min)
- At first, your Destiny does not have many votes in your life, shadowed as it has been by the ordinary affairs of your life. When weighed against each other on a scale, compared to your customary comforts and patterns your Destiny has relatively little mass. Twenty, thirty, forty or fifty years of avoidance habits usually outweighs the possibility of acting in accordance with your Destiny.
- (20 min) You can reorient yourself to implement a way of life that is full of practices that build mass for your Destiny. To start, take 15 minutes to write a list of 20 practices for yourself that add votes in favor of being your Destiny in action. A true practice has qualities of being doable, measurable, and explainable.
- For example, one practice for adding mass to the Bright Principle of Clarity would be: Three times a day I will use the sentence, “I feel (mad, sad, glad, or scared) because ________ and I want ________.”
- To add mass to the Bright Principle of Integrity a practice might be: “By 15 July 2014 I will dispose of memorabilia from previous relationships to make respectful space for my commitment to my present partner.”
- Or to add mass to the Bright Principle of Self-Respect a practice might be: “On 1 December 2017 I will have a Mother graduation party for me about my 19 year old son to recognize that I have completed my job as Mother and can take back my womanly name of Virginia.”
In silence please make your list of 20 practices for building Bright Principle mass.
- (30 min) Get in groups of 3 and have 1 person read their Destiny Principles and their list of practices. Then Listeners give the Speaker 5 minutes of feedback and coaching about their list, adding an additional 5 practices for them that expand their Box and builds mass for their Destiny. Be sure to have them write down exactly what you say, not what they understood you to say. Do not get into a discussion about these. You can discuss things together later, after the exercise is over. Rotate through the other two Speakers.
Part 4: IMPLEMENTING YOUR DESTINY – A PROJECT
(NOTE: Implementing your destiny can be well started using the Possibility Management Meeting Technology called POP (Place Of Possibility) explained elsewhere. But these distinctions are useful to read and discuss already.)
- Bringing integrity to your Destiny automatically results in a project.
- It is none of your business what your project is. Your opinion about it does not matter. Neither does anyone else's opinion about it.
- Your project is at hand. It is not somewhere else, some when else, depending on someone else. This is your project. Your Destiny is about changing the world. Changing the world is done right here, with what you have right now. You already have everything you need to implement your Destiny right now, and right now…
- Your project could be something that lasts for few days or a week. It could equally as well be something that you start and that lasts far beyond your lifetime. Again, it is none of your business what your project is, it is your Principles’ business. Just do the project.
- By the end of POP, you will have some kind of plan for implementing your project. During POP, find and arrange to have a meeting with a coach. This coach should have some expertise in the field of your Destiny project. They should already have some mastery in what you are destined to accomplish.
- Your transformation and evolution happens in relation to your Destiny project.
- Your Destiny is a public conversation. That is, your Destiny takes place in public, not in private. You are meant to live your project out loud! With all four feelings and all four bodies.
- If you create what you have always created, you will get what you have always gotten. Your project will take you out of your old patterns. Your project is about evolution: yours and the humanity’s. Your project will expand your Box.
- Adjust the method of implementing your project to the result that you want to create. Do not shrink your defined project goals to the methods or resources you already know about. We needlessly tolerate an immense amount of mediocrity in our lives because we conform what we want to do to what we already know how to do. Let yourself not know how and go ahead anyways. Let yourself radically rely on your Destiny Principles to themselves arrange things in your life so that the project is successful. After all, it is not your project! It is the project of your Principles. Let the Principles handle the hard stuff.
- The old saying goes like this: God works while man plays! Your job is to play full out, to have high level fun! Not so bad, is it? You just put one foot in front of the other foot, and keep moving, and don’t look down. While you are in motion the Principles guide your actions. If you stop moving, then it is far more difficult for sideways forces of the Principles to cause subtle, nonlinear, course-correcting, precessional events. This information is pure gold.
Further distinctions about implementing your destiny:
Whatever behaviors and excuses arise so that WHAT MATTERS TO YOU does not show up first in your life are simply your Box defending its known position and territory.
- Your destiny will always take you into the unknown. It can help immensely if you just change your mind about the looming fears and discomforts of consistently heading into the unknown. If you change your mind that it is not so bad you can more easily get used to it.
- It can be quite useful to acknowledge and say exactly what you want independent of the circumstances or possibilities of success of getting what you want. You are better off knowing what you want even if you cannot have it, since the alternative is lying to yourself about what you want.
- Many people manipulate themselves into doing what they want to do anyway. Try to stop manipulating yourself. There are plenty of other people out there trying to manipulate you. You do not have to do it to yourself.
- Getting specific is the one thing that the Box does not want you to do. The Box tries to avoid specifics because specifics imply commitment. Avoiding commitment is a primary motivation of the Box.
- Creating new results is done by focusing on doable, measurable, explainable specifics.